“Party or stay home with kids? Too many choose to party. Quit trying to hold on to your childhood and give your kids an amazing one, they only get 1!”

 Wow. Just read this quote and nearly smashed my phone up.

 Some may look at this and pat themselves on the back. Others may feel a deep tinge of guilt whilst making babysitting arrangements for a long waited “kids free time” because spending an evening, or even every Saturday evening out is wrong, right? Heeeeell no!

I’m 33 and a stay at home mum for 7 years now…(!) I’ve got two gorgeous kids and for a while I did everything by the *perfect mum book*. You know:

– listen to everything your kids say.
– give them all of your time.
– enjoy every moment, even the hard times because one day they’ll grow up and you’ll regret it.
– feed them homemade everything.
– don’t let them watch tv….ever!

The list goes on, forever actually, because some snotty faced mummy thinks her way of doing things is the ‘right way’.

But this is how I see it, there is no right way. You don’t have to listen to anyone not even your own parents! Your kids need you of course they do, they want your attention and affection, yes, but not every bloody hour of the day! They need down time, quiet time, crazy time, time to cry, to be wildly excited, to be let down but also be helped back up and their faith restored again. They need time to get bored- I mean REALLY bored so they learn how to entertain themselves! They need it all!

My point is this; forget everything you have ever read or heard from anywhere unless it makes YOU feel good. Those that are luckily enough to be parents should not feel pressured to be perfect ones. We’re all kinds of parents in both amazing and awful ways and our kids are learning to be brilliant, strong minded individuals because of our efforts and our mistakes, but going out on a Saturday night isn’t one of them.

So, go out every Saturday night. Go get drunk and act like a teenager. You have the rest of the week and your life to be a grown up. Stay in, do some karaoke with your partner or friends…whatever you do just be happy and healthy (great, I just quoted Dr Raj).

I want my kids to see me cry, get mad, and act like a loon! I want them to see me make mistakes and fall apart then watch me sew myself back together again, because life doesn’t always hand you a bunch of roses.

One last thing, being a parent isn’t all that you are. If you have other goals then go get them. If you don’t, then don’t beat yourself up about it, you are still so much more. The best lesson we can show our kids is that whether it’s to aim for a dream, be a better person, or just trying to get through the day we keep going and never give up.

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent but there are such things as stars, so whenever you feel worthless look up towards the sky and remember you are one star looking at another, and you are shining brighter than you think.

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